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Episode 3: mildly exposed

Friday 11th May Posted by Rich

Week 3 of my mini blog series. This week I give you a glimpse into my personal life by revealing some word for word extracts from my journal.

One slight correction, I say that I didn't tell someone about church planting until Sep 2009, I think it was actually Sep 2008.

If you fancy a coffee to chat about your take on this, just get in touch.

If you missed any of the journal entries as it was quite quick, just click on the transcript button and you'll be able to read them.

Music: Gungor - we will run

Show transcription

Video transcription

Well hello and welcome to Episode 3, which I’ve called mildly exposed. The good news is that I’m not going to get naked at all in this episode, which is good for everyone involved. But I am going to show you a little video which includes some extracts from my journal over the last few years, so it feels like I’m going to get a little bit personal, I’m going to expose some of my personal conversations that I’ve had with God. And in episode 1 I just introduced a mystery that I wanted to explain, that is that God has asked to us  to move to Exeter, and we are going to go and do that and then last week I just tried to explain this encounter that we’ve had with Jesus, we feel as though we’ve discovered God which for us is like a treasure because he’s had a really massive impact on our lives.
And it’s because of that treasure, that discovery of God that I’m passionate about church, one of the main things I think church should be about is pointing people to this treasure, this discovery. And so, in 3 months  we are going to leave to go plant a church in Exeter.
And I just wanted to show you some of my journal today because I thought it might be interesting to see how I interact with God, if I think God is real how do I interact with him, and this is just one way, by writing down a conversation with him and sitting and listening. And secondly  just because it documents really well some of our story, my story over the last few years and it’s quite interesting to see the order in which things happen and stuff like that. So if you don’t know my story really well it might be a bit confusing, so pay particular attention to some of the dates. It might be interesting to note that we didn’t move to Luton and discover the church and the community here until September 2006, and it wasn’t really until September 2008 that I was able to voice to someone that I though God was asking us to plant a church.
So watch this little video and I’ll be back in a second.
<VIDEO>
29/09/2003
Hmm. A journal, I’ve not done one of these before, feels a little girlie.
02/10/2003
I really want to get the church planting placement.
03/10/2003
I got the placement. I’m very excited but also slightly nervous about what the placement might mean.
14/01/2004
We’ve made the decision to move up to Watford.
01/05/2004
Well I’ve been married for 2 weeks now. I’m still getting used to it. It’s gradually sinking in.
08/05/2004
Do I dare to move? I feel I’ve moved literally and I’m willing to run with this church planting thing. I’m not sure how it will happen + certainly not capable. Will go for it though and see what happens.
26/06/2004
Well God we find ourselves in an interesting situation. Seems quite strange, I could be a church leader if I wanted. I just have to say yes?
29/07/2004
Rach now has an interview. Exeter?!? What to do? Talk about a fork in the road.
02/08/2004
I think I’d be very excited about Exeter.
05/08/2004
Man my head is wasted. I can’t sleep. I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to do? It feels too exciting to miss, it really does.
23/08/2004
I feel happy about saying no to the Exeter offer, which is good. I think you know I am willing to jump, I’m just waiting for you to say the word. Please lead us.
11/04/2005
I just don’t know what to do or how to get through this? Lord help me. I feel useless. I really am at the end of myself + feel like crying. I want to run away somewhere new, me and Rach.
26/05/2004
Just not sure what the next step is for us?
12/05/2005
Help us Lord, please guide us. We will go or do anything. I pray for this Starbucks opening.
05/11/2005
Again I pray for people to come into our lives that can mentor us, that we can be accountable to.
02/01/2006
Church wise it has been an awful year. Very little community and I don’t feel I’ve grown at all. I really want this year to be different I want to get stuck into a church.
10/01/2006
I wonder what will happen this year? I would love to have 2/3 guys that I could call friends, it would be great to settle in a church and actually do something.
13/02/2006
Feel frustrated, aahhh! Open my eyes and show me what I’m missing. What church do you want us at? We are fairly stupid so please make it obvious.
29/02/2006
If we don’t get invited for dinner this month at church I’m leaving.
24/03/2006
Help our church situation, I know that I need some input. Who knows what we should do?
21/06/2006
I pray for vision. I’m beginning to feel like planting a church in a few years. Firm up the plan for us.
07/07/2006
I feel that you must know our future? I’m sure there are a few different routes for our life. Where will we end up I don’t know?
13/07/2006
Very excited about my holiday. I’m interested to see how Scotland goes. I would just love to do something like Chuck. Plant vision and dreams into my heart Lord.
11/08/2006
I definitely feel that you want us to lead/plant a church at some point in the future, I just pray you show us where and when.
This thing in Luton could be interesting? I give the whole church situation over to you.
13/09/2006
Lead us as we meet up with the guys from Luton.
23/10/2006
I’m excited about Luton + getting stuck in. I wonder what my contribution could be?
29/10/2006
I pray that you give me a real passion for Luton and for the lost.
09/11/2006
Starting to feel really excited about church, they are just great people. I’m actually doing something next Wed which feels amazing!
08/02/2007
I feel scared about moving to Luton, our money situation is bad.
11/02/2007
I gave you the money, then you gave us £10,000, that’s pretty awesome!
23/08/2007
Really want a baby, I would love Rach to be pregnant now. I think I would rather that than a cat.
29/08/2007
Well, well, well. I just found out that Rach is pregnant. Crazy.
03/10/2007
I feel like shit at the moment, what’s going on? Why have you got me at Starbucks and how long do I have to be there?
07/01/2008
It feels like my dreams of leading a church are fading away.
27/04/2008
I’m now a dad + have William sleeping on me. Amazing.
09/11/2008
Be with me as I spend time with Gav, lead that time. Especially next steps.
15/07/2008
You’ve really come through for me; church, home, family and now job. Your incredible. Scarily, this could be the start of my journey to plant a church?
You guys know the rest of the story......

Well there you go, I hope you found that interesting. If I’m being really honest with you, I find it a little hard to watch that video without getting a bit emotional. And those of you that know me will know that that doesn’t take a lot to make me cry, and chuck in some soppy music and I’m half way there already.
But for me, looking back over the last 10 years and observing what I believe God has done in my life is pretty amazing, the way that he’s led us. And I guess you could say that I just always wanted to plant a church and it’s just taken me quite a few years to be bold enough or confident enough to say it out loud, to pursue it. And there is a bit of that which is right. But to me it feels as though as I’ve been pursuing  a relationship with God, as I’ve been getting to know him over the last 10 years and developing a relationship where I think he’s real and I feel like he speaks to me, he’s been leading us step by step to different places and with different people. And he’s been putting that desire in our heart, in mine and Rachel’s heart, to go and do this thing. And that feels to us really real.
There have been many, many coincidences along the way, flukes, not least going to Scotland to some festival  and just meeting some guy that we didn’t know who raved about Luton and suggesting we move here. We did, we moved here, to get involved in a church and that’s been an amazing part of our journey meeting these people. Maybe it was just luck, maybe I’m just very lucky. But I guess we believe that God had a hand in that . That he’s been taking us step by step.
What do you think about that? I’d be curious to know, I’m interested to know what you think, even watching and reading some of my journey, hows does that make you feel? Do you think it is just coincidence or do you think maybe God might be interested in our lives?
The offer stands, I’d love to grab a coffee and have a conversation. So get in touch if you’d like that, or leave a comment and we can have a conversation online. I’ll see you next week, next Friday. See bye.

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